Is "liberal" a state of mind?

College activities galore last week, all replete with fascinating side stories that were, at times, more captivating than the activities themselves.

Friday, we had three activities, all riddled with controversy. 12.30pm, the Model UN students set off for the South East Asia Forensics Competition in International School KL with glee. Now for the obligatory controversy: Some tutors were reluctant, even hostile, to release students to go. That was the primary reason the bus departed late, which was the primary reasons the Muslim boys arrived at their prayer grounds late, which was the primary reason many missed Impromptu Speaking, which many later felt was the highlight of the day.

Little were we to know we were merely in the eye of a storm, as another controversial episode unfurled beneath the horrified eyes of many in college.

Assembly this week (A SapphireTM Project) doubled as the Opening Ceremony of Creative Week. Creative Week: From Junk to Art. Doesn't explain the sumo wrestling competitions on the schedule though. The Indian Cultural Club, with a few Malay girls in tow - this is where the situation starts getting prickly - performed a fully clothed Bhangra dance, to the delight of the liberal members of college.

This, of course, was the cue for an unspoken cold war to occur. Many whispered comments have been overheard by the members of Veritas who have had the guts to come to us. Will this be a long-standing matter of contention within the narrow confines of college grounds, where stoking tensions can simmer with no end in sight? Only God knows why. I (and this is personal, not Veritas) personally (just in case the previous message isn't clear enough) - believe you can always look away, if you think it's not to your liking. Each culture has their quirks; you can choose to disregard them but you certainly gotta respect them if you want to earn respect. Intolerance of other religions or cultures merely reflects badly on yours, thus giving others an unfair chance to strengthen their stereotypes against yours.

Nightfall beckoned the Battle of the Bands, which, as always, was a highly entertaining battle of the good, the bad, and the simply off-key. Highlight: Mr Jamal on guitar. Still, we are obliged to question the origins of a notice on the door saying: "Girls and boys have to sit apart during this event." Kudos to a teacher who, in a fit of disgust, shredded it with his bare hands. Still, he needn't have put the notice up, for the boys and the girls, as usual, decided to sit apart.

Saturday was Life Saving Day. Nothing eventful, just a bunch of 16 enjoying a longer than usual swim, eh? It was an ordeal for some, a nagging pain in the neck for most, and a breeze for the select few with Mr Hamdan-esque physiques. Many failed once - before you bemoan their frail constitutions, try swimming 50m and towing a person back in 3 minutes. Then try flinging a rope 20m into the pool without it entangling AND getting it pat down the first try.

Try college. It has its ups and downs, but then, that sure beats Form Six.

Students, please post your views on the above incidents below. We are not liberal, neither are we conservative, we are the truth, as we see it.

FLASH: ADIOS, PAK GUARDS

In a first for KYUEM, SIX security guards have been fired. Wednesday 16 February morning. With immediate effect. According to a source, the Bursar personally severed their employment as he had had enough of their antics. Which, apart from our recent police case, also include:

1) Female students out cycling being harassed by one of the younger, brasher men.
2) Female students walking in a pack in school getting catcalls. An eyewitness reports another female student (funnily enough, the same one) hounded by the guards while she was in the Cafeteria, mere minutes after they were fired.

Now it is not Veritas' station to pass judgement on the security forces keeping the Big Bad World out, but as school staff are rarely fired, we presume they must have committed one last act of negligence that broke the camel's back.

Anyway, since news has it our security company is facing acute hiring problems anyway, and Dr Ikmal had been scouting for a new security company anyway recently, their jobs were lost in vain. The firings just lessened the protracted, agonizing wait.

We'll sure they'll miss the college. I mean, isn't it a fantastic place? But of course the JPA Scholars* have more intimate knowledge of this.

* The JPA Scholars were dragged off to the Great Hall again for - surprise, surprise - "Sesi Penilaian Kolej Persediaan" with our friendly JPA officer who only seems to materialize AFTER the period of time when we desperately need him, i.e. during scholarship application season. We were asked to rate innumerable aspects of our college on a scale of 1 to 5. Question that held us up: Rate Location of College. Many students couldn't find the "0" on the scale.

SC: Showing Committment?

Three days after SC members should have settled comfortably into what they imagined would be their soft armchairs and rosewood desks, it seems they haven't been spending much time sitting. SC members are seriously losing sleep (bad), weight (perfect) and occasionally their tempers (understandable) over the insane workload the college has prescribed them. Still, from our side, that's wonderful, they're doing lots of work. Let's hope the initial enthusiasm is not a scripted public demonstration for the school to win the few hearts and minds that may not have voted for them.

Veritas apprehended a few SC members with student grouses, and have been suitably replied as follows:

1. FAULTY AIRCON IN CHEM LAB 1/MR CRANWELL'S ROOM

SC Rebuts: The Welfare subcom has met the Bursar. Tanjung Malim does not have the necessary expertise to fix our aircons, thus they have rung up KL. Conclusion: This issue has been resolved at college level, now it's how fast the maintainance company can move.

2. TOILET PAPER SHORTAGE in VIRTUALLY EVERY TOILET

SC Rebuts: Will look into this issue, they did not notice it. (Perhaps they do not use the school toilets. Well, verdict, that's a huge loss, as you can eat on the school toilet floors, they're spanking clean.)

3. RIGHT TO RAISE COMPLAINTS LIKE (1) and (2) ABOVE CURTAILED

SC Rebuts: Complaint Boxes will be set up throughout school soon. Anonymity will be guranteed, so fear not.

On whole, good job, new SC. And may your spirits never flag - remember you guys are the only leaders we'll have to put up with the whole year, as we don't have mid-term elections to remove people who aren't up to the mark.

Back To School...Again?

Going to the airport, for some, has become a habitual routine. Which other Malaysian college has two week-long breaks in a month to celebrate four national festivals? Granted, it is a magnificent effort to recognize diversity, but it is taking its toll on the Borneo/East Coast dwellers who have to endure a jumpy 12-hour bus ride or 2-hour flight. And that's not counting waiting time.

It would be more logical, perhaps, to extend the year-end holidays till the last day of Chinese New Year/Awal Muharram, like Australia has done. Funnily enough, they don't EVEN celebrate Chinese New Year there.

Let's work this out together: We have a total of 8 weeks holidays. If our year-end holidays had started in mid-December, instead of late November, the 8 weeks' hiatus would end on Valentines' Day. TODAY. And we would only have to purchase 2 flight tickets instead of SIX.

AirAsia website: Flight ticket, one way to Miri (which for everyone's information is the midpoint between Kuching and Kota Kinabalu, so fares to Miri are a good mean of the wildly varying fares to various East Malaysian destinations): RM 109.99

The difference between 2 tickets and 6 tickets: RM 109.99 x (6-2) = RM 439.96.

Pretty penny. All you JPA scholars, that sum is roughly HALF your allowance this year.

And if that isn't enough, that fare is non-inclusive of airport taxes, transport to airports (notably KLIA), the hugely inflated price of food in airports and on AirAsia, and man-hours lost drumming one's foot in an airport with a sub-par novel.

Yes, we are a minority, almost insignificant (Data obtained from the Eco-Trip 2005 committee suggests HALF the junior medics are from KL/Selangor.), but sheer geographical distance should not impede us from grasping at the same educational opportunities as you do. Yes, KL living costs are high, the money we save in living costs can more than accommodate the inflated tickets, some may immediately argue in a knee-jerk reaction.

We request the new SC takes definite measures to ensure the school holidays are well-planned. The only alternative, it seems (considering college authorities are adamant in not letting us stay on) is not going home both holidays. Easier said than done.

Of course, to pacify certain disgruntled readers (most likely ex-readers now, though) who think Veritas Online is my personal vendetta sounding board, I am persuaded to add this disclaimer: These represent the views of myself, tempered by the fact I AM a Sabahan who is hopping mad at enduring 4-hour delays in airports THREE TIMES in a month while my Kay Ell friends are cooling their heels in Hartamas. My KLIA mates will vouch for us: our flight was delayed 3 times, 4 hours in total, during the recent Chinese New Year.

It is already an ordeal for us to have to part from our families and homes every time. All we implore is for the schedule not to make it any harder on us.

SC LINEUP 2005 - A VERITAS EXCLUSIVE

After a long duel of wits and integrity, we have our new SC. Sponsored by Veritas Media Inc, dotCo, Tanjung Malim Express Sdn Bhd and Cambridge International Esaminations. Dressed by Cretel Fashion.

PRESIDENT: Mohd Hizami Mohd Iskandar
VICE PRESIDENT (MALE): Mohd Syahirul Syafiq @ Nic-O
VICE PRESIDENT (FEMALE): Nur Farahbi Shaari @ Abby
SECRETARY: Azlan Ariff
TREASURER: Hazwan Alif Abdul Rahman

WELFARE EXCO: Lee Wen Ai, Johan Dzulkifli @ Joey
ACADEMIC EXCO: Mohd Faizal bin Zulkifli @ Pejai, Afida binti Mohd Yusuf
SPORTS EXCO: Mohd Akmal bin Mohd Samudi @ Batu, Lim Sin Wee
RELIGIOUS EXCO: Mohd Hafizuddin @ Judin, Nur Adrianis
FOOD EXCO: Abdul Razak bin Salimin @ Ajak, Mohd Abdul Ghani

Congratulations to all winners, and may the remaining candidates continue to serve the electorate in other capacities, as far as they can, for it does not take an SC member to be able to serve KYUEM.

Veritas salutes the democratic process which has, once again, ran its full successful course. All's well that ends well.

MALE COMMON ROOM. Locked and Pissed.

Thought monkeys only lived on the grounds of KYUEM? Think again.

Notice on Male Common Room, locked and shuttered: "This common room will be locked till 5 February coz SOMEONE URINATED ON THE CARPET!" (Spelling is correct.)

The specifics; A student urinated on the COMMON ROOM floor, time and date unknown as, presumably, no one was witnessing that grotesque incident. Word has it the action was a protest against the new Male warden, poor Mr Buhkari. (Note that is NOT Veritas's view, we are just reporting what we have trawled up in our research.)

Students who chanced upon the common room floor, urine-tainted, before the unceremonial locking of the doors, had this to say: Hizami (names have been changed to protect privacy) "I sensed a faint tinge of urine on the carpet." Further enquiries revealed he had also heard other students making the same comment. O, if only they had known the nasty truth.

Bad news for the students is, the Common Room (for readers who have long departed KMYS/KYUEM) is where students watch TV, study on a real carpet, and - get DRINKING WATER. Filtered. It is common knowledge the tap water tastes funnily acidic. Hence the college installed a water filter for students who were averse to the local tap water. With one fell swoop, it is estimated 40% of male KYUEMers have been deprived of drinking water to their liking.

Verdict: IF you have a problem, PISS on the problem. Don't PISS on college facilities. (Metaphorically, of course.) It is an act of cowardice for that one person to endanger everyone else's drinking water supply just because he has a bone to pick. We are, in an oft repeated cliche, the creme de la creme of the country, and it is totally unbecoming that we still treat our First World facilities with a Third World mentality.

Rumour has it the room may only be opened when someone owns up. For the insouciant individual who has brought our entertainment and drinking (water, not beer) to a standstill, this is your last chance to show there's some manly courage deep within.

SC Elections: One Step Closer

Veritas Media Inc. has come to a complete standstill. To clarify any nagging doubts, we, sorry to say, do NOT know the SC election winners AND will find out at the same time as you, the discerning voter, do. Well, since I'm sitting in the front row, the speed of sound being 300 ms-1, I'll get the news roughly 2 milliseconds before half the college does. Complete calculations here.

Now for the obligatory public service announcement issued by all self-respecting media in the world in the wake of a successful election. Students, respect your victors, for though they may not have garnered your vote, 200 other people do not think so. A true democracy is not about having a lineup you want swept to power; what makes democracy shine is when you are able to devote equal respect to a lineup against your wishes.

We respect the choice of the electorate, and salute all the candidates for having bared their souls to public scrutiny. That's courage for you, and in return, we the voters should demonstrate equal helpings of courage. By respecting those who will hold court over us this year, irrespective of who they are or what they represent.

Remember the voters, O Ye Lofty Victors, for you were once part of us. You may have been gifted your post by sheer circumstances, but our cooperation is earned, not gifted. Remember, we determine the number of pages you will occupy in the annals of college history.

Good luck, and may the best man, or woman, or any gender shades in between, win.

SECURITY ALERT: Laptops On The Defence

KEEP YOUR LAPTOPS UNDER HEAVY LOCK, KEY AND GUARD.

A seniors' laptop was stolen yesterday. Unremarkable story in itself - but wait till you find out WHO was seen in college yesterday.

The POLICE.

The gist of the story is thus: A one time drug addict entered college posing as maintainance staff, apparently thwarted the forces that be patrolling the female chalets, and took off with the first laptop he found. The police were roped in to investigate - extremely hush hush job, according to reliable sources - and the case was solved. Drug Addict, we are glad to report, is now cooling his heels in a decidely uncomfortable prison cell. But that's beyond the point.

What matters is realising no sponsor or parent will reimburse equipment that is stolen due to your own negligence - and taking steps "sebelum anda disembahyangkan". Lock your doors, keep your valuables under closed circuit TV, for our utopian sense of safety has once again been shattered.

PICTURES OF SC CANDIDATES BRIBING VOTERS!

That sure got your attention, huh. Of course, these are pictures of a) Seniors who want to elect a bunch of people who will do a gempak Annual Dinner b) Juniors who want to ensure they elect a bunch of people who will torture the Super Juniors well during Induction Week. In a reversal of traditional journalistic practise, I will refrain from supplying catchy captions for the following pictures, simply because who actually thinks that way when they see a picture?

The Presidents Speak

A Garnetor will be our next President.

Such were Awie's ominous words, giving the empty-handed Bangsawan house something to cheer about.

Awie, wearing an utterly fascinating airplane worker outfit with color coded pockets, that turned out to be the official UTP Mechanical Engineering Club tee, delivered a veiled barb at Akmal's misconstructed statement the night before that "The President has no use." It was a verbal slip, and I assume Awie was taking it lightly. Simply, Awie informed us that Akmal threw both candidates a challenge: Are you complicated enough to be the next President?

First contender, weighing in at much less than Hizami, if exterior appearances are a good barometer: Abang Daud, or, to the National Registration Department, Mohd Hisyam bin Jamari. He regaled us with the origins of his moniker "Abang Daud" - apparently he got that label during an Induction Week game. He added a personal tinge when he mentioned his doctor uncle, also named Daud, and how he remembered his uncle when people call him Abang Daud. Simple yet poignant.

Thrust of speech: He believes he's "close to you guys" and he knows he has the ability to be a leader. In another cleverly worded statement, he exhorts all to "vote for who I am, not who I will be", and in another quintessential Daud-ism: "I'm just me." He argues he's not a busy person, merely active, as many people may refrain from voting him due to his presidenc..ies of MARA Scholars and Ecotrip.

Hizami ended the day with a thunderous voice and equally thunderous applause, beseeching the audience for their trust. He admitted words can be deceiving but appealed to the populace to see the passion and fire in his eyes, and know he bares his soul to public scrutiny that night to fight for our rights. Well said - now do it. His central tenet of governance - to bring democracy to KYUEM shores.

He will not condone the marginalization of SC as a mere representative body and sees it as a body taking real action on behalf of the students. He believes in closer rapport with SC and other student representative bodies, e.g. Muscom, Veritas (?), house coms, clubs and societies, for in an oft-repeated statement, "The SC is not on a pedestal, it must not be detached from the students." He ended by declaring the time for silence is over and proclaimed "I will fight for you, Your fight is my fight."

Veritas will fight for any of you. As you are elected through the democratic process, so we will fight for that very democratic process to set root and bloom through our reporting.

Good luck, candidates, and though we would sincerely love to say "May the best man win", eventually, all we long for: May the college win.

MANIFESTO NIGHT TWO - Female Vice President

Taj began memorably - We are more important than the Male Vice President. To devoted applause, she added that it was simply because the Female Vice-Pres was the highest representative of the female population in school. Will you be able to fight for gurrrrl power, candidates? We find out, in their own words.

HANA: She admitted she was nervous as it was her "1st public speaking appearance after nomination", but knew it was more about what she was and what she was willing to do for the college - not entirely what she could do as a person but what she could do as a team. To many knowing nods, she asserted this college was too academically-oriented, and she would do her utmost best to encourage students from different backgrounds and personalities to showcase their talents.

ABBY: Telling us she had pondered long and hard what to say, she decided she would show up on the podium and say whatever was in her heart. She was adamant she was not running for the sake of popularity or to lengthen her UCAS form (candidates, keep that in mind WHEN you're up there and up **** creek without a paddle). She told the crowd that losing Bangsawan (Background info for newcomers: She directed the Garnet play which unfortunately did not pick up any silverware in the recent Bangsawan) had taught her more than winning it. It made her realise the value of passion, commitment, and the need to fight for their rights.

AMIRA - She appealed the voters to "please maintain an open mind" as it was, in very well-chosen words, "the person who makes the post". She admitted many did not know her and, logically, spoke about herself. Her doctrine is that "what matters is what I experience in life" and exhorted voters to move on your instincts, for they will rarely fail you.

MANIFESTO NIGHT TWO - Secretary

Il: Our designated less-known candidate, yet a spunky ball of fire. Accompanied with Pijat Diamond on guitar, she initially fought fears that she couldn't do it, but was given strength by the crowd. She then proceeded to sing a modified "I Will Survive", a seriously fantastic performance to boot.

GRACE: Begins by thanking the electorate for turning out. She began a bit nervous but her speaking straight from the heart slowly wowed the crowd. She said she was willing to do anything for the college, with appropriate physical gestures...First she removed her glasses, then let her hair down, then took of her jacket, and the crowd went wild. You could almost hear the front row (no names here, we're all civilized people, aren't we?) clamouring for...more leeway. She ended by touching people's hearts with her humility - mentioning if they thought she wasn't good enough, please vote for the best.

AZLAN: My name is Azlan but people normally call me Tengku Mohd Azlan Ariff bin Tengku Mohammad. He presented his manifesto in pitch darkness, with a sensual Matrix-like opening cascade of on-screen "AzlanAriff"s followed tightly by his QnA session, conducted with himself. Point to note: Wore same outfit as Grace.

MANIFESTO NIGHT TWO - Treasurer

DZAQUAN: The most under-the-radar candidate in the fray - AND the sole female candidate - admitted she had never had the chance to show she was a good leader, never had a chance to show her real talent. Still her sincerity was evident when she pledged to promise to manage the SC Treasury as well as possible.

HAZWAN (not RAZAK): Begins by thanking his supporters and helpers one by one. He believes he is able to handle financial tasks for all college activities are well-funded for sufficient funds are essential. He was rather nervous yet gained conviction when he elaborated his "Adopt a Palestinian" project, a very noble project. He believes we have the ability to judge people through their interactions and communications.

YC: Yi Chung, a moniker no one will ever use on him, began by mentioning he felt intimidated standing in front of an audience of intellectuals. He felt he was the best qualified candidate and explained why. His main draw: A gimmick that literally interpreted the notion that "Money is safe in my hands". After getting a RM 50 note from Ala, he ordered a petrified Kusha to set it alight after dipping it in flammable propanone solution. Magically (but Mr Hanson apparently has the copyright to this party trick), the note did not burn. With that, he bolstered his tagline: "Your money is safe in my arms."

MANIFESTO NIGHT TWO - Acad Exco

BEN - In his words, "An impromptu effort I'm glad I made it." A very convincing speech, sourced from the deepest reaches of his tenets and beliefs. He describes the Acad Exco as being about passion, sacrifice, helping everyone secure university applications, meeting deadlines, whatnot. Also, he envisions SC as a platform for students to fight for their rights and stand up to teachers as and when necessary.

AFIDA - To a rendition of utada Hikaru's "True Love", she ministered gently to the congregation. One image came straight to mind - Serendipity, a Radio 4 programme by Bridget Menzies, 7.10pm after the news. Listen and be bowled over by the similarities. She believes in making changes for herself and for others, for she believes SC is her chance to prove her worth to the student body.

MIOR - He loves this place now. After his day-school background, he was seriously unsure how he would fit in. Very friendly and approachable with the students.

PEJAI - The apparent students' darling. All decked out in suit and tie, he elaborated his medic background and how it would help him to understand, in his revelatory words, "how it felt to study till 3am and actually have a harder time in fighting for a university place". His focus is on good relationships with students, for that is the only way he will know what they want. Raucous cheers accompanied his every move. But then, so did Ben.

FLASH: MANIFESTO NIGHT TWO - Sports Exco

Manifesto Night II came and went, leaving a student body itching to make their mark on the ballot paper. The significance on this night is not lost on the PEOPLE. TODAY marks a point of transition: the point when the power stops being in the CANDIDATE'S hands and starts being in the PEOPLE'S hands. The candidates, from now on, are at your mercy. Each vote rings true, loud and clear, so DO NOT ABSTAIN. PLEASE TURN OUT. And hell, if they turn out not to fight for your rights...you always have Veritas, little though our credit may be.

BATU: Be grateful to the Lord for the gifts he has given to us. Such were his words, derived from an Arabic saying. His words were of course few and far between, as he sang a song, self-accompanied on guitar, about his childhood and why we should vote for him. It was sincerely a beautiful rendition that left many touched. Famous last words: Vote only the best candidates.

KHAIRIL: Yes, there IS a Khairil, just that it's normally spelt A-C-A-I. Acai ran up the aisle bouncing a ball, skidding to a halt on stage to present his Manifesto. A very polished delivery: he told the students not to vote for the person who's good at sports, BUT the person who can make your sporting experience a success. In his words, he was "ready to korban himself to help KYUEM students." Visionary words indeed, but only time will tell.

UDON: Brought his bag on stage and through a convoluted story told us how it gave him feminine connotations. Simply put - that's immaterial. He will specifically fight for female, and let's hope male, sports rights, judging by the dire lack of female candidates running for Sports Exco. His lofty plans, delivered through PowerPoint, revolved around improving the condition of current facilities and making full use of underutilized courts near female chalets (is that ALL he notices?). Magic words: UNDI UDON.

SIN WEE: John F. Kennedy lent a quote to his campaign: Ask not what your country for you but what you can do for your country. He maintains that his experience as Sports Captain for his school for 2 years has instilled the necessary qualities: facing life challenges and team spirit.

Aircons Heat Tempers

In the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights, I'm pretty sure the right to have functioning air-conditioners can be slotted in somewhere. Mr John Cranwell and Ms Shree would certainly fight to the sweltering death for that. Air-conditioners in college are starting to malfunction inexplicably, making us wonder whether our college is in dire financial straits.

CASE ONE: Monday morning, Mr Cranwell's room. Halfway through class - well to be exact, 10 minutes in - aircon switched itself off. Mr Cranwell, muttering inaudibly, walked off to switch it on. 10 more minutes and it switched off again. Mr Cranwell continued teaching, insistent that "it'll go off the next time I turn it on anyway", but when faced with 13 helpless students who are more intent on swatting the next bead of sweat that comes their way than Task 2, soon he relented and stormed off this time.

10 more minutes and it just went off like God was playing with the switches and wondering which one would allow us poor souls to skip school. This time, Mr Cranwell seriously turned a deep hue of red, one normally seen on tomatoes and murder scenes, and huffily told us to pack up our Task 2. We got our library trip to watch Jean de Florette, Artsy Fartsy albeit Oscar Winning French Movie.

CASE TWO: Chemistry Lab 1. Both aircons spew hot, humid air, specially imported from a Third World rainforest. Ms Shree and the student body have complained incessantly, but to no avail. Maybe posting it HERE, where any of the Executive Officers at UEM Bhd can read it, will result in an amicable solution.

We do not ask for marble-tiled floors nor for gold-plated lab equipment. We just feel our sponsors are getting a raw deal if we are deprived of the basic right to study in a conducive environment.

We will FIGHT. Not yield. Till the bloody end.

MANIFESTO NIGHT: Second Impressions

Note, of course, the title does not mean these candidates are any less important - if at all, we have arrived at the highlight of the programme, technically speaking. First, the Religious Exco, helmed by Isa and Ija. Remember "My name is Isa. You can call me Jesus?" (From a reliable senior source, who prefers anonymity.) This year, in his words, we have a "50% increase in candidates", accompanied by uproarious laughter, which would turn out to be an ominous prediction of the candidates. For they were all good in their own ways.

Judin, the only male candidate, began and ended with with poems about God. Majdina described herself as an "open minded person" who could work well under pressure. Interesting assertion: She said she was not morally superior to any of us, but felt it was her responsibility to be part of SC. She declared that we "still are not living as one" and "there are still gaps between us" and thus each of our voices had the power to change the college. But Adrianis really shone, and this is not a case of corrupt reporting. Well-versed in the Koran, and a natural charmer, giving us her take on religion. And she was the sole candidate to assert she represented all religions - thus her enthusiasm to work not just with Muscom but with the Indian and Chinese Cultural Clubs. Food for thought...and ballot.

Now, the showdown. Kenrick versus Nic-O, two Diamonders, two Integrasi-ians. Will speech or action prevail?

KENRICK: Began with Akmal's famous tearing of his speech, then yanked out another piece of paper and told us he had just torn Akmal's speech up. Nice one. His manifesto was a reworking of his prolific posters: what bridging the gap actually meant. He believes (simple present tense from now on, just struck me it sounded like he was deceased if I spoke of him in the past) we tend to do what we see, not what we hear. To illustrate, he asked students to stand up and put their right hand on their chin. All and well, until everyone broke down in fits when they realised they had blindly followed Kenrick's action of putting his hand on his cheek. Hmm, this only proves that once he's elected, he'll lie to us? Heh, of course not, don't take it too hard Kenrick, but our job is to play devil's advocate.

Ended with a wonderfully read Malay poem, in an accent that in no circumstances whatsoever will pass off as Malay.

NIC-O: Real name Mohd Syahirul Syafiq, as Akmal Roji inadvertantly pointed out. Began with a hilarious translation of a Malay poem that ended "Will win without giving bribes"...which inexplicably drew laughter across the board. With Kenrick's electoral gimmick, it was time for a ploy of his own...asked everyone to stand up and put their right hand on their chest. This was obligingly complied to...until everyone realised his right hand was HOLDING the microphone, so there was no way Nic-O could put it on his chest.

Probably trawls through his email for motivating stories every day with his campaign team. Story One: The eggs, the carrot and the coffee bean. The gist: Dunked in hot water, eggs soften, carrots harden, and coffee beans turn the water into pungent coffee. Moral: He declared himself a coffee bean. He likened the hot water to the adversity at hand, and his ability to be flexible and adapt himself to the problem so it actually became a boon. Smart. Last words: Don't base your vote on credibility alone. Trust is more important.

With that, we wait in bated breath for tonight's manifesto, in the fervent hope this college has truly become a fertile hotbed of democracy.