The Mother of All Assemblies

I meant to write a college update, with no one day being discriminated against, for in the wake of the AS Level Mock Exams next week and the general exam fever (for some students, both mental and physiological), nothing significant should have happened in college.

Those of you who've done your two years' sentence here know: Fat Chance.

When students came back on Sunday every room was adorned by a huge Packard Bell box, clearly labelled "Multimedia Computer." Imagine the consternation when the "multimedia computer" was discovered to have no speakers. Still, it is a work of GENIUS by the administration to win our hearts and minds. 2.8 GHz with 256 MB RAM, a whopping 80 GB hard drive, and it looks like a fashion accessory sitting pretty in the room. The cynics have commented that the college was buying us out in preparation of a wickedly harsh policy to come in the next few weeks - we the students will be too busy watching movies, surfing, presumably, educational websites, and attempting to unlock the myriad Windows XP restrictions to be affected by any such policy.

Which draws my attention back to the fact I have yet to immortalize the Mother of all Assemblies in writing.

Dr Ikmal was here. Veritas Backlash. (Due to conflicting interests, i.e. we ARE owned by Veritas Media, the company with bad accounting practises in the midst of this furore, we will necessarily be biased when reporting that incident, thus we choose NOT to report it) We have a new CODE OF CONDUCT. If you dozed off through it all, here is ONE thing you should have woken up for. Priceless.

NO student or student body is allowed to regulate or instruct another student in what he/she should do or how he/she should conduct himself. The college firmly believes each student should be allowed to take responsibility for their own learning.

Onerous words indeed, with repercussions that will reverberate even through the chalets still watching Desperate Housewives.

A Full(Er) Report, Coming Soon. Veritas Media, under the coercion of AS Mocks, signs off.